# 1135 Anti-Coch does Fossils and Missiles

Run No. 1135
When: 2/16/08 at 2:00 PM
Weather: 35° partly cloudy. Perfect for hashing.
Where: The end of Locust Ave in Roseland, NJ
Hare: New Jersey Ex-Pat Anti-Coch. Or is it AntiCock?
Hashers: Alibi, Anal Lick it All, Breaststroke, Clitty Litter (NR), Comfy Hole, Dancin’ Fool, Dog E Style, Dogmeat, GeneYass, GI, Honey Buns, Just Bruce, Likes to Bang Poles, Little Sacs, Locomorrow, Massengil, Miscast, No Genitals, Orgasmitron, Papoose, Rat Bastard, Seoul Brudda, Sodom Me, SOS, Tub Slut, Twatever (NR),Whomp ‘em, and Yer and Anal Cyst (NR). And: Brady, Icebox, Maggie, and Nikki,

The hare promised: Shiggy, Good Beer, Fossils, Metaphysical conversation and good views, and hopefully a trail most of you haven't used in awhile. He mostly delivered, but many found the metaphysical conversation rather mundane.

URL for this route is: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=1645204

The turnout was excellent as you can see from the above list. It may have been a tribute to the visiting hare, or maybe nothing else was going on that day.

TRAIL
The hare du jour gave his chawk tawk in elemental Massachusettsian. He explained his New England hash marks, such as a song check and other hybrid marks, nothing too complicated. Left unexplained was why such an early start. While the hare is always given discretion with the start, our usual start time of 3:00PM was abandoned for no apparent reason.
At about 2:20 the pack was off, the hare kept the walkers in the fold until the big pack was away. His shortcutting instructions must have been effective since they apparently made it to the beer checks to greet the eagle runners.
The trail was still mostly frozen with about an inch of snow to camouflage the wet spots.
The hare announced that the second beer check represented the B in his A to B trail, thus giving a down-down free ride to all who wanted.
Dog E Style was typically lost on trail; his initial smartass attempt to be FRB was thwarted by the trail. He zigged right at the ‘song check’ when the pack zagged left. This ill-advised choice left him off the trail and out of sound range for quite a while. He eventually ‘Zenned’ his way to Riker Hill Park, and the awaiting beer truck.
The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, Don Knotts, "Rob" Petrie (Dick van Dyke's character on the The Dick Van Dyke Show), Jack Tripper (John Ritter's character on Three's Company), Kramer (Michael Richards's character on Seinfeld), Chris Farley, and Mr. Bean are all examples of physical comedy characters. …Now add to that list, Little Sacs. He entertained the pack with his continuous pratfall routine. He must have been working on it for quite some time. Picture him falling multiple times within 40 seconds… One review noted, “He never got his footing before falling again and again.” Classic slapstick!
First beer check was in a fossil rich area: Walter Kidde Dinasaur Park. If the pack was expecting Jurassic Park, they weren’t disapointed –Well except that the dinasaurs were long dead, only footprints and fossils were left for us.

Jurassic sidebar:
During the Jurassic, the supercontinent of Pangea continued to break apart. Volcanic activity associated with this rifting produced lava flows that poured out over mudflats and into lakes, producing the resistant rock that forms today's Watchung Mountains. Molten rock intruded into basin sediments producing a sill, the Palisades Sill, and other ridges in Hunterdon and Mercer Counties. Bipedal dinosaurs roamed the basins during the Jurassic, leaving abundant footprints in the sediments layered among the lava flows. The Walter Kidde Dinosaur Park in Essex County boasts thousands of such footprints. Fossils of Semionotus, a fish related to the modern gar, are abundant in Jurassic lakebed sediments.

How can we not mention the really good beer at the fossil pit beer check: Bass Ale, Boddingtons, and Murphy's Irish Stout.
Where Dancing Fool was so zealous that he started collecting Anti-Coch’s can of beer before he had drained it. (How did he escape a down-down for that?)
OK, enough with the metaphysical conversation, back to the hash… A few slips and falls later the hashers were reunited for BC #2. What another BC and another sidebar? Yep, here ya go:

Nike Sidebar:
Riker Hill Park, the site of the “second” beer check was, in it’s former life, part of a Nike missile base. It’s Cold War goal was to shoot down Soviet bombers before they got too far inland. The bases always had two distinct areas; one had the missile silos, the other had the radar guidance unit to aim shots. All this was TOP SECRET in the 50’s and early 60’s.

Nike missile base http://alpha.fdu.edu/~bender/NY79.html
Although the East Hanover Launcher Area was mostly demolished, the Control Area atop Riker Hill in nearby Livingston remains partially intact. Here, a number of the Army's original barracks and other buildings have been adapted to serve as studios for local artists. The parking area has been adapted to accommodate beer checks by the local hasher group.
http://alpha.fdu.edu/~bender/NYsites.html

The hare regaled the troops with his story:
“When in a previous life I was an Infantry Officer in the U.S.Army Reserve, I was conducting some training at Fort Dix and one of the Sergeants working for me had actually been assigned to the Nike Missile Radar Tracking Station on Riker Hill. It's been so long since I had that conversation with him, but I thought it was neat to actually have met someone who had been stationed there”.

After making our way back through the slippery slopes, the group regrouped in the parking area along nearly deserted Locust Ave.

CIRCLE:
Before Rat Bastard, our humble Religious Advisor could get the circle under way; Dog E presented two full cases of leftover Saku beer to anyone and everyone. These were donated by Loco, who was very cagey when asked how he managed to load his car with case after case. Some speculated that he was present at Estonia’s version of the Boston Tea Party.
The circle was convened at about 3:45pm
Anti-Coch was of course summoned to the center to account for himself in the midst of the contented hashers.
Compulsory down-downs:
· FRB: Anal and ____
· DFL: Likes to Bang Hole and Tub Slut
· Non-runners: Only Twatever was there, but she declined the honor.
· Visitors: Likes to Bang Poles (From New Haven, Ct H3 and Sodom Me, originally from Happy Valley, but now in the Suffern, NY area)
· Perennial non-visitor visitors: Tub Slut and Anti-Coch
Then the accusations flew:
Anal accused his fallen brethren of not being on the up and up. He called up anyone who had fallen on trail. It’s probably certain that given his definition of falling: “anyone who put any body part on the ground except their two feet”, everyone should have qualified, but only Alibi, Breaststroke, Little Sacs (more on that later), Massengil and Rat Bastard stepped up to face the down-down. [Ed note: run on sentence, so what!]
Over achievers: Seoul, Breaststroke, Bruce, O, Dogmeat, SOS, chose to forgo the B ending and ran back to the A.
Dog E came to the center with distressing news: He wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth; he was holding a gift beer. Under normal circumstances, free beer is one of the best things in the hasher world, but in this case the beer he was holding was a Haz-Mat in a bottle. It was one of the surviving beers that LocoMorrow donated to last weeks hash. It was bad, in a bad way. As previously reported in this space, it had the not-so-subtle bouquet of diesel fuel. Curiously, Loco chose to accept his down-down from one of the already poured cups.
GeneYass was called up for trying to deny her past life as tennis legend, Arthur Ashe’s wife, Jeanne Ashe. Yes it’s a stretch -but what the hell.
Breaststroke not only invented his own trail, but also encouraged several hashers to follow. Papoose, Geney, Loco and Comfy Hole followed the leader, but couldn’t find their way though the decades old security fence and get to the beer.
Hey there’s some irony there... Comfy Hole, couldn’t find a comfortable hole through the fence… (Oh forget it)
Then self-anointed hash historian, TubSlut, called the hare an imposter. It seems that Anti-Cock, was masquerading as Anti-Coch. The hare dismissed that notion with the parenthetical, (Anti-Coch: the name having been derived from doing graduate school at ANTI-OCH.)
Posing as a security guard: Dancin’ Fool was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with SECURITY on the back.
SOS was called up to be congratulated for procreating. His daughter, Anna Sophia was born a week ago. Joining him in the festive down-down was the baby’s grandfather, Seoul Brudda.
Latecomer: Twatever showed up as the circle was in progress, but never got out to enjoy her (NR) down-down.
Breaststroke revealed that he was ‘featured’ on Norwegian television. The pack could only assume that it was in a porn flick, so in the absence of champagne, he was given a mundane beer down-down.
Dr. O protested that Breaststroke should have been given a Scandinavian beer as his down-down, referring to the Saku Estonian beer. He contended that Estonia was in Scandinavia; this brought the geography nerds to their feet. The Estonians are a Finnic people closely related to the Finns, with the Estonian language sharing many similarities to Finnish. (For the record, Estonia is on the south side of the Gulf Of Fnland, but it is a Baltic state.) Depending on Loco’s suppy chain, this may be the last reference to Saku, Estonian beer.
All dog owners were told to “come”: Anal, Bang, Sacs, and Rat. Dog E was dog free for this hash.
Speaking of dogs, Little Sacs was called up for losing his mutt on trail. He was so intent on keeping up with the pack that he lost contact with Maggie. They were eventually reunited, so Maggie couldn’t maul anyone else.
Miscast, bumbled some beer, spilling a few of the carefully poured cups onto Locust Ave.
For the dreaded technology on trail, Tubby, AC, Rat, Massengil, and Sodom Me, were called forth. Each used some form of battery-operated assistance on trail.
For being spotted holding hands on trail: Honey Buns and Alibi.
Then GeneYass noted that there was cheating going on while on trail. Semi-explanation: Dogmeat let Little Sacs go down on him… and Anal expressed jealousy that he wasn’t involved in the action.
Massengil got wind that two of the hashers in attendance were on line at precisely 2PM, the scheduled hash time. GI and Loco were emailing each other, until one re-checked the www.hashnj.com website and realized that the hash was gathering as they sat warm and dry in front of their respective computers. Both immediately hopped in their cars and made it to the start.
When Likes to Bang Poles, a visitor came forward for her down-down, she opted to do a banana down-down instead. It was more entertaining then that description. Since she did that option several times, there was some concern that she was getting too much potassium. A worry that was needless.

Potassium sidebar:
Food Size Potassium (in milligrams)
Banana 1 medium 560
Baked potato with skin 1 medium 850
So given her intake of 3-4 bananas, she may consumed 1.68 grams of Potassium, which is about a third of her Recommended Daily Allowance, of: 4.7 grams

A potassium-rich diet also blunts the effects of salt on blood pressure, may reduce the risk of developing kidney stones, and possibly decrease bone loss with age. The recommended intake of potassium for adolescents and adults is 4,700 mg/day

Sometime around then Rat Bastard’s hash song repertoire ran its course.

ON-ON
Speaking of nutrition, the hash then went in peace to Zagursky’s in Whippany. The frivolity continued.

SOS took pen in hand and waxed poetic about the challenges and rewards of parenthood.
“The birth of Ana Sophia happened last Saturday! Much advice from the hashers:
This will be the best time raising kids because it’s very simple. All their needs are apparent. –It’s either hunger, being wet or being tired. Later, they are teenagers, so it is harder. The best lesson – keep ‘em away from the hash until they are older.”
-SOS and DOSOS



Other miscellaneous commentary:
It was tu-tu:
Too long,
Too high,
Too dry, not enough ice.
-Seoul Brudda

“My bloodiest ever”
-Just Bruce

“I slipped on the ice five times on trail!”
“Rat Bastard’s dog at someone’s banana peel.”
-Little Sacs

“Lovely ice and really good beer!”
“Don’t remember much about the trail, must have been drinking”
-Whomp ‘em

“What? No cigars, SOS or SB?”


Announcements:
Next Full moon hash will be under the full moon in Mahwah.
Hares: Alibi and HoneyBuns
Trail: Promises to be a flat dry and possible very dark trail with excellent views of the pending lunar eclipse. Hares highly recommend bringing some type of illuminating device.

http://www.maniacworld.com/Feb-20th-Lunar-Eclipse-Timelapse.html

Then the
Hash On Leap Year. Sadie Hawkins Is Today
When: February 29, 2008
Where: Dover (NJ) RR station
Why: It’s a once every four year hash
Hares: Anal Lick It All, DogE Style, Twatever and a mystery 4th hare.