1134 Feb 9, 2008 Dog Ass hash

The Next Summit Hash House Harrier Run:
6th HHH Anniversary of
Dog E Style and Anal Lick it All

After completing hash assignments in Texas, Mexico and Pennsylvania, your usual hash scribe is back at the inkwell ready to offer the following hash trash.

Hash # 1134
When: February 9th, 2008 at 3 pm (ish)
Where: Towaco Train Station
Weather: Fantastic (40° under overcast skies) –Perfect for hashing
Hares Dog E Style and Anal
Hashers: (13) Clitty Litter, Finger In, GI, Great Sex, Just Matt, Keyhole, Lil Sacs, Miscast, Orgasmitron, Rat Bastard, Suck ‘em Up, Twatever, and Yer an Anal Cyst, (plus the McNulty 4) and Brady, Nikki and Maggie.
Excused absences: Dogmeat, Wrangler and Breaststroke.
Also excused: Seoul Brudda who was being upgraded to grandpa, and SOS who was trying to keep from hitting the floor as his baby was getting born.

Trail
For an estimation of the trail, click this: http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/nj/towaco/173400081
The pack was splintered early and often. A short introductory circle-jerk up was supposed to serve as a warm up, but seemed to confuse the pack from the get-go.
Total eagle distance: 6.46 miles with an elevation gain of 167 feet. (Both seemed more given the conditions)
As the hashers proceeded, they encountered a swampy ATV trail, which was alternately soft and mushy. With each footfall came a gamble. Would the foot stay above the spongy surface or sink ankle deep into the muck? It was immaterial, since wet shoes were inevitable on the first leg of the hash. If the temperature were 10 degrees colder the thin ice layer would have been thick enough to skate across, 10 degrees warmer and it would have been a shoe sucking bog.
The first BC was behind a shuttered office-type building. The pack got to this one after the foray into the muck and mire, a little more than a mile into it.
There was a mysterious feature of that location that, a mystery – until now… In the never-ending research that goes into these write-ups the scribe has solved a mystery. While standing in the back of the building strange petroleum like aroma wafted through the area. The source of the smell remained elusive, it came and went, until the pack headed back onto the trail. Now the reason that the mystery is solved is that the scribe poured himself a pint glass of Samuel Smith’s India Ale. It had a strange, rather unpleasant diesel flavor. Nothing a couple of Saku’s can’t cure.
Perhaps Defreni (290), of Frederiksberg, Denmark summed it up best at the ratebeer.com site:
Flaske. Helt klart en attraktiv øl i betragtning af at jeg fik den kun 2 månedr inden best before. STadig frisk med humle og yderst drikbar, det er bare ikke min type øl.
OK, away from the odor, and across the street. From there it was up to the train tracks for a hop to the other side of RT 287.
GI was feeling the remnants of a recent flu-like illness and was unable to carry on. He made it to the first BC, but could hash no longer.
The two beer checks –the first about a mile and a half into it then a second well earned BC after mile five.
The second BC was at an abandoned and boarded up house at the top of a hill. From certain angles, it was reminiscent of Norman Bates’ house in Psycho. A few hashers were brave enough to test the doors, but to our knowledge no one entered the structure.
From the second BC it was an easy downhill lope to the train tracks and back to the station.
Circle
In keeping with the healthy lifestyle promulgated by the hash [HASHING IS GOOD FOR YOU] there were no chips, Cheese Doodles, or trans-fat laden snacks of any kind. (Also because the hares forgot to pick them up).
On his way out the door, Just Matt was introduced to the crowd. He’s now completed his second hash, his first being GI’s hash two weeks ago. He lives in Livingston, and is apparently married. He must be because he told his wife, ‘I’ll only be gone for about an hours’. That hour was more like two, not counting hanging around the parking lot for 20 minutes awaiting the rest of the hash.
Rat Bastard promised a short circle The circle was initiated in the train station parking lot, right in ‘downtown’ Towaco. The circle was circled at 5:15PM.
Saku beer. The beer that’s also a number puzzle …Each Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits from 1 to 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit. So must every column, as must every 3x3 square… No wait, that’s something else…That’s Sudoku … my mistake. Saku is an Estonian beer. Locomorrow donated five cases to the hares. Try as they might, the hare left with three full cases. At the next hash, no one leaves until the beer is gone. Not necessarily consumed, just taken away. (Ed note: it’s not bad stuff – Really)
Here’s some of the more memorable –or at least written down— accusations.
· Dog E for having an unexplained foot print on his new Terra Porcus Lux hash shirt.
· For those that missed the BC: GI, Sacs, Miscast, Suck ‘em Up
· Auto hasher: Clitty Litter.
· Rat Bastard, who didn’t believe that the strands of toilet paper on trees were in actuality hash marks. He may have been unaware of the local flora and fauna. The accusation was that he thought the toilet paper grew on trees.
· Dog E was chided for missing Summit hashes. The lame excuse of being at the El Paso Tex-Mex, and the Groundhog Day TPL hash was not regarded as a good excuse.
· Speaking of missing hashes… Great Sex was called up for missing the Haggis Hash. She was ill, but not too sick to compose a lovely speech, which was delivered with great panache by Yer An Anal Cyst. (YAAC for short)
· Electronic engineers: Rat and YAAC looted the second beer check of valuable chattel
· Keyhole was in a rare diplomatic mood. He called forth Suck ‘em Up and Finger In, who got into a scrap at the first BC. It had to do with some Dogshit disposal disposition.
· Anal sez: Finger In had to help Brady over a fence.
o Dr. O was astute to point out that Finger In also wore his hat in while doing the down-down.
· Dr O accused the RA of not being short. (with the circle that is)
· In a deft turntable switcheroo, Rat got O in some kind of procedural trap, forcing the accusatory one to be accused. Thus Rat gave O a down-down.
o Hoist by his own petard… Dr O was observed wearing his head gear in the circle while doing the DD.
· Then apropos of nothing, b decided to give a speech. The gist of his speech directed at Little Sacs was that Anal would henceforth refer to Little Sacs as “Deranged”. He was quick to add that this was not a re-noming, just that the GM would alter his form of address to Sacs.
Then it happened… The short circle was concluded at 5:45. Just breaking the 30-minute barrier. And it should be mentioned that it was Dogmeat free.

On-On
The hare’s reprised their last year’s on-in. Bringing the crowd to the Boonton Ave Grille, known locally as the BAG. The few but hearty hashers made it to the BAM. Burger, beer and the like was consumed by all. Hash cash was $20.

On-out,

DogE Style
Scribe, SHHH

DES/mmi