Shortest Day hash #1124

Shortest Day, Shortest Run, Shortest _____

Summit Hash # 1123
Hare: Anal Lick It All, with special assistance from PigPen
When: The Day with the Shortest amount of Daylight; December 22nd. 3pm.
Where: 5 St. Johns Ave Mt Tabor, NJ
Weather: 45° in the shade
Hashers: Clitty Litter, Dog E Style, Dogmeat, Geneyass, Great Sex, Just Beth, Keyhole, Nee: Ronan the Librarian, Orgasmitron, Papoose, Prodigy, Rear End Wrangler, Suck em Up, Tub Slut, Twatever (NR), and Whomp em

Why: Well, why the hell not?
It is the other half of the longest trail/shortest trail series.
The trail was segmented into three legs. Each leg ended at a beer check and another rendezvous with the hares and chickens of the pack. If the trail left the friendly confines of Mt Tabor, it was due to bad checking by the FRB’s. Mt Tabor is less than 1 square mile, yet the trail was about 3 ½ miles. Here’s the scribe’s estimation of the trail: http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/nj/summit/824694005. Those chosing to adhere to the theme and do the shortest trail went maybe ½ mile total.

Researching Mt Tabor, NJ:
Two pertinent websites: This one, And this one.
Favorite paragraph from the latter:
Some parts of this entire narrative on Mt. Tabor, NJ are a combination of myth and lies. However this fact the absolute, 100% truth: the past and present so-called trustees of the alleged Mt. Tabor association currently are under investigation by various Federal authorities, including the criminal arm of the IRS.


Bring a story or a joke for each beer check unless you want to hear all my tired old jokes again.
Suck em Up came prepared for class. He brought a printout of some of the corniest jokes in history. His inspiration was the Prairie Home Companion. He purportly chose the “Man walks into a bar” section under the assumption that the aforementioned BC’s would involve walking into a bar.

Also bring a drinking vessel to save the environment from plastic throwaway cups.
This suggestion was followed. Every color of the rainbow was represented in plastic hash mugs. At each BC, the vessels were recharged to the content of the hasher.

High Quality Beer, Short but $hitty trail, great On On, and the hare (Anal)! What more could you ask for?
Too true!


CIRCLE
The circle was convened at 4:45 pm, led by the mistress of discipline: GeneYass.
FRB: Who gives a S`?
DFL: ditto
Visitor: Tubslut
Virgin: Liz, Elizabeth, and/or Beth.
Non-runner: Twatever (She was busy elsewhere preparing for the On-On)

Accusations:
Dogmeat, being an erudite peruser of medical journals, came across a familiar sounding name while reading his favorite magazine.
Maternal Separation Leads to Persistent Reductions in Pain Sensitivity in Female Rats, 8 August 2007 GeneYass, Josie Diorio , Michael J. Meaney The Journal of Pain December 2007 (Vol. 8, Issue 12, Pages 962-969)
To save time and the expense of a $32 subscription fee, Dog E’s has abstracted the
Abstract:
We determined responses to noxious thermal stimuli, before and after morphine… in …handled (H) and nonhandled (NH) …RATS… left undisturbed … At 120 days …paw lick latency…Rats were then given 1, 2, 5, or 10 mg/kg morphine and paw lick latency was measured… Rats… determined in discrete brain regions… MS rats had significantly longer… maximal …effect of morphine …rats… In conclusion… pain sensitivity in female rats…the medial preoptic nucleus.
What the…?

Back to the hash:
Great Sex and Wrangler for doing Rumson then Summit in the same day
Dog E Style for only doing one hash in a day
Ronan (for now) for tripping Pig Pen and throwing him into the snow
Just Liz and GeneYass for going tobogganing on the steepest hill in town, and doing it without a sled
Anal for desecrating the punch line. He blurted out, “My pussy ate it!” Full transcript of the joke available on-line.
Ronan (Still) for making like the ASPCA and rescuing a runaway dog. He was also accused of not getting the name or number of the dog’s beautiful (female) owner
For flashing the hash: Beth. (It’s not what you think; she wore a beaded necklace with Christmas ornamentation)
Relating to the above-mentioned exhibition, GeneYass and Liz were summoned for going down on trail.
Ronan and Dog E for ‘blowing their load’ this was a reference to ill advised charges up steep hill in front of others. This caused both the aforementioned, to stand gasping at the hill’s Summit.
Suck em Up and Prodigy for being the jokemeisters. They came with a pocketful of bad jokes. And had the poor taste to share them all.
In a rare lapse in circle etiquette, Dogmeat was summoned for calling the Joint Master by the false title of Grand Mistress.
GeneY for inappropriately using her finger; she pointed in the circle.
Speaking of fingers:
Just as the circle was winding down, someone came up with the bright idea to re-nom Ronan. The inspiration was from his unique way of greeting fellow hashers at the previous week’s par-tee. Morn’ likely it was the GM.
Some of the suggestions from the floor:
Fingering Hare
Mr. Fingers
Three -Tequila –floor
But the ultimate decision was made by the GM, Ronan the Librarian is no more, his new moniker is “Finger In”. It even comes with a pre-made theme song.
There were some announcements, but they were just considered anti-climatic following the re-nom.
With that momentous event, the hash was sent in peace to get a piece.
The evening continued with a fabulous array of pizza and beer.

On Out,

Dog E Style
Scribe, SHHH

DES/mmi