Tuesday, May 13, 2008

LocoMorrow 1152 May 12, 2008

Hash Number: 1152
When: Monday May 12th at 7:00pm
Where: Laurel Hill Park
Weather: 58° and windy.
Why: Good Trail, Fine Table Cloths
Hare: Loco Morrow
Hashers: BreastStroke, Dog E Style, GI, He Man (V), He Mom (V)(NR), Keyhole, Massengil, Rat Bastard, Seoul Brudda, and Twatever

The trail was unique and memorable, although Loco started the pack in the same spot as Summit Hash #1079 on Monday March 21, 2007, The trail was new and improved.

This park has a long and varied history; as depicted in a 2007 movie, Snake Hill
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1056133/plotsummary
From 1870 to 1962, New Jersey's infamous Snake Hill institutions were the last stop for thousands of terminally ill patients, indigents, "lunatics" and prisoners. Approximately 10,000 bodies and their belongings were buried two-deep on the grounds. Abandoned and forsaken, they lay in deplorable conditions for decades as millions of unsuspecting motorists passed by on the New Jersey Turnpike every day.The hashers were chilled and shaken –like 007’s martini. The pack of 9 enthusiastically followed flour to and along the NJ Turnpike, only to come across a “BC-15” meaning back toward the start. This and other tricks held the pack together for the first 30minutes or so. Then a problematic check split the group into three factions. The hashers looked more like mountain goats, then r*nners. The basalt was sturdy at times, or crumbling under foot. This cliff-hanging, vertigo-inducing trail was not for wimps.
Eventually Massengil and Seoul were the only ones to figure out the true trail. They were rewarded with a trip to the top of the ‘Fraternity Rock’ part of the mountain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_Hill
The others including BreastStroke, Keyhole, Twat, and Dog E, saw the hare’s car from a vantage point on the rock, so headed toward that spot, only to find the devious hare had moved by the time they got there. GI was also found wandering the fields and dales, in search of hashers or trail.
Rat and He Man were seen still traversing the rock face but were summoned to the beer by whistles and waves. Despite the seeming divergent paths, all hashers found their way to Loco’s beer car within five minutes or so.
All the while, a lone sheriff’s van was surveilling the park. He was either disinterested or oblivious, since he never made his way to the beer or hashers.
Here’s an estimation of the trail:
http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/nj/secaucus/750214757795

Arriving back at the cars the temperature seemed to dip into the single digits. There was little socializing an much shivering, especially from the Thai duo.

On On (Complications set in)
We were given the easy instructions to get to the On-In: Campanello’s 51 County Ave, Secaucus. Unfortunately, the hare didn’t read the fine print on the menu he was showing off: BUSINESS HOURS
Monday thru Friday 7 AM to 9 PM
Getting to the joint, looking lean and hungry, the pack was met by a guy leaving and laughing that the place was about to close. (Time check: 8:55PM) Dammit!
Keen eyed hashers looked across the street to a welcoming restaurant with neon beer signs in the window:

56 County Ave. Secaucus, NJ
The best Italian food By Sandra R
“Great place to have a party or a romantic dinner. The food is out of this world. Very quaint and quiet. Everything is made to order and I have never had a bad meal. We've had many parties there and they do a fantastic job to make it memorable.”
So across the street we trudged. Rat wanted to drive there, but he reconsidered given the ridicule he received. All was well until the menu was passed out. Loco nearly passed out too.
Highlights:
Filet Mignon Served with Broccoli $29.95
Filet Mignon Medallions Sorrentina With Eggplant, Prosciutto and Mozzarella in Light Red Sauce $25.95

Screw that! Pizza we wanted, pizza we got:
Pizza Bianco Mozzarella & Ricotta Cheese $12.95
Pizza Favorita Covered with Sliced Mozzarella, topped with Plum Tomato, Garlic, & Oil $12.95
Pizza Margherita With Fresh Mozzarella & Basil $14.95

As the kitchen was preparing our pies, we got a few pitchers and commenced the circle. The few customers in the room were alternatively curious and repulsed at the prospect of sitting through such shenanigans, especially the aforementioned Sandra R.

Circle:
Rat officiated his first circle as GrandMaster.
Compulsories:
Hare: Loco was congratulated for setting the best trail of the year, and also shamed for the worst. It should be noted that the bugs that dominated his last effort were miraculously missing this time.
FRB: Keyhole and HeMan
DFL: BreastStroke.
Non-Runner: He-Mom, visiting from Maine.
Visitors: He-Man from Phuket, Thailand and his mom from Maine.
Accusations:
· Alleged overachievers: Seoul and Massengil. “For doing the whole trail?”
· Short-cutters: Everyone else
· Hare for putting an arrow in the wrong direction at the top of a hill; “I was disoriented”.
· Keyhole for micromanaging the directions, making sure the drivers could find Exit 15-X
[What a coincidence, the rest of the diners paid up their tabs and left. More food for the rest of us.]
· For missing the AGM, two days ago, Keyhole and Loco stood up for a down-down.
· GI for coming late and not seeing flour or trail until after the beer check, which he managed to find.
· Keyhole again for recognition and appreciation of the Turd Brown Ale, he brewed and supplied for the AGM. (He was also informed that he is still the brew-meister.)
· The hare for dragging us to a closed On-In. It was also noted that once again, the hare found a place with real linen tablecloths (as promised).
· He Man arose to reminisce about the small world of hashing. In a Six degrees o separation conversation with Seoul Brudda, he found out that he knows the hasher that introduced Seoul to his wife, Robin. The guy’s name is Winky and is widely acknowledged to be and asshole.
· BreastStroke was called up for not being able to sing “What a wank…”
· Massengil gave a public service announcement. “I just found three ticks on me”.
Announcements:
There will be a full moon in May… “Sooner or later”, “You will be notified”
He Man gave all an initiation to Phuket Thailand. He also informed the group that, “My sister’s a hasher”. Her name is Airlock and may show up at an upcoming hash. He Mom got her on the phone for a long-distance down-down.
[Another coincidence: The circle ended as the food arrived.]
On-Out,

DogE Style

Still Scribe
DES/mmi

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