Monday, April 21, 2008

Camel Bowel's Full Scottish Monty Hash! Full Moon #93, Summit Hash #1143



Circa: 1965 - Jack Brothers - Camel's real taste satisfies longer.

Twas a braw bright moonlit nicht

Camel's Full Scottish Monty Hash!
Hash: Full Moon #93, Summit Hash #1143
When: Monday 24th March 2008 @ 7pm
Where: Scottish American Club, 40 Patterson Street, Kearny, New Jersey
Kilts: Optional but highly recommended
Weather: 50° and dark.
Hare: Camel Bowels
Hashers: (11) Dog E Style, Dogmeat, GI, Good Shit Lollicock, Hazmatt, Massengil, Miscast, Rear End Wrangler, Seoul Brudda, Tub Slut, and Twatever
“…And so it came to pass that the home of America's finest immigrant population, will now host the first SFMH3 event to be run through the hills and dales of lovely Kearny.”The parking at the Scots Club was a challenge for some. There was no nearby carpark, and too many larries in the causey. Additionally, the fire brigade was busy tending a gleed up the wynd. To make sense of that the scribe recommends, see explanatory note below.
The scribe was late, having come straight from work. He brought the still-fractured RE Wrangler with him to the wee clachan of Kearny. Kearny, NJ
The Sopranos used to film in Kearny. The location of the fictitious Satriale's Pork Store, which houses Tony Soprano's office in the show, was at 101 Kearny Avenue. The pig was placed back on the roof when filming.
What kind of town is Kearny? It’s kind of town that someone can run around business and residential neighbourhoods in a ‘front-to-back’ kilt and not raise any suspicion, nor an eyebrow.

Trail:
The hare gave a rousing Braveheart like speech stirring the Scottish patriotism amoung his troops. And with that the pack was out. They embarked on an anti-clockwise trail around Kearney and environs. Traipsing in every direction but the intended one. The true trail following the train tracks, the trail gave spectacular view of the Manhattan skyline. The pack also got to appreciate the topography of the Meadowlands and a landfill.

Scribes estimation of the route: Camel hash SFM93
Find more Runs in Kearny, New Jersey

Link: http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/nj/kearny/263739281

Circle
Dogmeat was handed the reins of the circle at 8:40pm
Some sniveling about the perceived lack of flour or chalk marks.
FRB: Although it was not acknowledged in the circle, Twatever was first in. she was also among the first out. She had to leave before the circle was organized, so didn’t get a chance to revel in her glory. “Winning the hash” is usually a phrase only uttered by Keyhole. The rest of the hash is just happy to finish at all.
DFL: The honours went to Dog E and Massengil (despite his GPS gizmo)
Non-Runner: Good Sh!t Lollicock a second time visitor from San Francisco. He alleged that he ran 10 miles in and around town, but the lack of perspiration gave away his ruse.
Another NR was RE Wrangler, who was milking sympathy over his broken ankle. No, don’t get up.

Accusations
Hazmatt and Massengil, something about not calling out when they knew they were on trail. (Dogmeat tried to explain but the complications were too complicated.
GI while looking for parking spot, he didn’t notice the assembled hashers pointing out a perfectly legal spot right in front of the club. He had to circle the block a few times to get the hint.
Kilted hashers: Tub Slut and Dog E this wasn’t so much an accusation, but a congratulatory down-down for following directions. This also acknowledges that Dog E has officially qualified for the Society of Kilted Hashers.
The hare was looking too bonnie in his cleidin. He insisted he changed into his hash braws, simply by tirring his hause tie. This provoked another Down-Down for Camel

Ed note: The scribe is not completely nuts; he’s just spent too much time using the Scots online dictionaryhttp://www.scots-online.org/dictionary/useeng.htm

On-Inn
Scots American Athletic Club of Kearny, NJ
http://www.scotsclub.com/about.htm
Motto: "…. Shall be to promote good fellowship among all its members and to engender a more harmonious feeling among all."

The hare took the opportunity to slag the kilted scribe. He regaled the hashers with a cock-and-bull yairn about The Black Watch, which was whid. The hare told the gathered hashers that the Black Watch was a regiment of poofters, which is why the tartan is so widely available. It’s most often seen in consignment shops in Edinburgh(a) and Glasgow.
Of course none of that is true, the Black Watch was recently disbanded, but had a rich history as fierce Scottish warriors. They had as a motto: "Wha daur meddle wi me?"Which translates to "Who dare meddle with me?" This was later appropriated by the colonists in the Gadsen Flag, you know… The yellow one with the rattlesnake, “Don’t Tread on Me”

The Black Watch (Royal Highland Regiment) was the first kilted regiment in the British Army, and the first to introduce the bagpipe. It's the oldest Highland regiment and can trace a line back to 1624 when the government of the day started raising Independent Companies to keep a check on the wild clansmen… The Black Watch, or "Royal Highland Regiment", the oldest of the Highland units, wear the "Universal" tartan. Sometimes called the "Black Watch" or "42nd" tartan, it is claimed to be a Campbell tartan and is worn as such, when woven in brighter color shades, by the Duke of Argyll. The pipers of the Regiment, however, wear a different tartan, the "Royal Stewart", as is the custom in certain of the Scottish regiments.
Wearing the tartan is not the same as knowing how to wear it. Dog E was ridiculed by the otherwise nice lady bartender, for wearing his kilt “Front-to-Back” The pleats go on your bum. Dog E then realized he should have read the instructions in the kilt pack.


Addendum:
Dog E bought his kilt from this outfit: http://www.stillwaterkilts.com/

On Out
Dog E Style,

Scribe
Summit Full Moon Hash House Harriers

DES/mmi

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