Camel Bowel's Full Scottish Monty Hash! Full Moon #93, Summit Hash #1143

Circa: 1965 - Jack Brothers - Camel's real taste satisfies longer.

Twas a braw bright moonlit nicht

Camel's Full Scottish Monty Hash!
Hash: Full Moon #93, Summit Hash #1143
When: Monday 24th March 2008 @ 7pm
Where: Scottish American Club, 40 Patterson Street, Kearny, New Jersey
Kilts: Optional but highly recommended
Weather: 50° and dark.
Hare: Camel Bowels
Hashers: (11) Dog E Style, Dogmeat, GI, Good Shit Lollicock, Hazmatt, Massengil, Miscast, Rear End Wrangler, Seoul Brudda, Tub Slut, and Twatever
“…And so it came to pass that the home of America's finest immigrant population, will now host the first SFMH3 event to be run through the hills and dales of lovely Kearny.”The parking at the Scots Club was a challenge for some. There was no nearby carpark, and too many larries in the causey. Additionally, the fire brigade was busy tending a gleed up the wynd. To make sense of that the scribe recommends, see explanatory note below.
The scribe was late, having come straight from work. He brought the still-fractured RE Wrangler with him to the wee clachan of Kearny. Kearny, NJ
The Sopranos used to film in Kearny. The location of the fictitious Satriale's Pork Store, which houses Tony Soprano's office in the show, was at 101 Kearny Avenue. The pig was placed back on the roof when filming.
What kind of town is Kearny? It’s kind of town that someone can run around business and residential neighbourhoods in a ‘front-to-back’ kilt and not raise any suspicion, nor an eyebrow.

Trail:
The hare gave a rousing Braveheart like speech stirring the Scottish patriotism amoung his troops. And with that the pack was out. They embarked on an anti-clockwise trail around Kearney and environs. Traipsing in every direction but the intended one. The true trail following the train tracks, the trail gave spectacular view of the Manhattan skyline. The pack also got to appreciate the topography of the Meadowlands and a landfill.

Scribes estimation of the route: Camel hash SFM93
Find more Runs in Kearny, New Jersey

Link: http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/nj/kearny/263739281

Circle
Dogmeat was handed the reins of the circle at 8:40pm
Some sniveling about the perceived lack of flour or chalk marks.
FRB: Although it was not acknowledged in the circle, Twatever was first in. she was also among the first out. She had to leave before the circle was organized, so didn’t get a chance to revel in her glory. “Winning the hash” is usually a phrase only uttered by Keyhole. The rest of the hash is just happy to finish at all.
DFL: The honours went to Dog E and Massengil (despite his GPS gizmo)
Non-Runner: Good Sh!t Lollicock a second time visitor from San Francisco. He alleged that he ran 10 miles in and around town, but the lack of perspiration gave away his ruse.
Another NR was RE Wrangler, who was milking sympathy over his broken ankle. No, don’t get up.

Accusations
Hazmatt and Massengil, something about not calling out when they knew they were on trail. (Dogmeat tried to explain but the complications were too complicated.
GI while looking for parking spot, he didn’t notice the assembled hashers pointing out a perfectly legal spot right in front of the club. He had to circle the block a few times to get the hint.
Kilted hashers: Tub Slut and Dog E this wasn’t so much an accusation, but a congratulatory down-down for following directions. This also acknowledges that Dog E has officially qualified for the Society of Kilted Hashers.
The hare was looking too bonnie in his cleidin. He insisted he changed into his hash braws, simply by tirring his hause tie. This provoked another Down-Down for Camel

Ed note: The scribe is not completely nuts; he’s just spent too much time using the Scots online dictionaryhttp://www.scots-online.org/dictionary/useeng.htm

On-Inn
Scots American Athletic Club of Kearny, NJ
http://www.scotsclub.com/about.htm
Motto: "…. Shall be to promote good fellowship among all its members and to engender a more harmonious feeling among all."

The hare took the opportunity to slag the kilted scribe. He regaled the hashers with a cock-and-bull yairn about The Black Watch, which was whid. The hare told the gathered hashers that the Black Watch was a regiment of poofters, which is why the tartan is so widely available. It’s most often seen in consignment shops in Edinburgh(a) and Glasgow.
Of course none of that is true, the Black Watch was recently disbanded, but had a rich history as fierce Scottish warriors. They had as a motto: "Wha daur meddle wi me?"Which translates to "Who dare meddle with me?" This was later appropriated by the colonists in the Gadsen Flag, you know… The yellow one with the rattlesnake, “Don’t Tread on Me”

The Black Watch (Royal Highland Regiment) was the first kilted regiment in the British Army, and the first to introduce the bagpipe. It's the oldest Highland regiment and can trace a line back to 1624 when the government of the day started raising Independent Companies to keep a check on the wild clansmen… The Black Watch, or "Royal Highland Regiment", the oldest of the Highland units, wear the "Universal" tartan. Sometimes called the "Black Watch" or "42nd" tartan, it is claimed to be a Campbell tartan and is worn as such, when woven in brighter color shades, by the Duke of Argyll. The pipers of the Regiment, however, wear a different tartan, the "Royal Stewart", as is the custom in certain of the Scottish regiments.
Wearing the tartan is not the same as knowing how to wear it. Dog E was ridiculed by the otherwise nice lady bartender, for wearing his kilt “Front-to-Back” The pleats go on your bum. Dog E then realized he should have read the instructions in the kilt pack.


Addendum:
Dog E bought his kilt from this outfit: http://www.stillwaterkilts.com/

On Out
Dog E Style,

Scribe
Summit Full Moon Hash House Harriers

DES/mmi

1146 Alibi and Honey Buns do Tweed

Summit Hash Number: 1146
Hares: Alibi and Honey Buns
Where: Tackamack Park (Southern part of Blauvelt State Park)
When: Saturday April 12, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Weather: Spectacular: 75 and clear
Hashers: (17) Anal Lick it All, BreastStroke, Clitty Litter, Dancin Fool, Dog E Style, Dogmeat, Finger In, Keyhole, Little Sacs, Massengil, Miscast, Orgasmitron, Papoose, Rear End Wrangler, Seoul Brudda, Twatever, and Whomp em. And: Anya and Quinn
Not to mention: Maggie
Excused absence: GI and Tub Slut.
Honorable mention: Just John

As the hashers arrived, every spot was taken up by a hash car, every spot but one: The one occupied by John. We never got his real name, but we know his game: “A game played all over town, the girls with ten toes up, the men with ten toes down…” He must have been hot in his car, since he spent his time fanning himself with a dollar bills.

This "john" showed Clitty the money, which got her a bit nervous; she then removed valuables from her car and gave to Honey Buns for safekeeping. IE, the currency cooler caused Clitty concern.

By all accounts, this was the first time in its glorious history that Blauvelt hosted the Summit hash. 1145 previous hashes and hares, and no one thought of this awesome venue.

Massengil was still wobbly from a week at sea. He jumped ship mid-Hudson and swam up to the Tappan Zee to get to the hash. Such dedication!

Unofficial pictures of the hash: http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=8vsl89vv.5tqspro3&x=0&y=-l02t28&localeid=en_US

Trail:
The trail was inspired by an unemployed hare. He has time on his hands to explore the area. His reccy forays were rewarded.

Who’s that Keyhole that saved this map? http://maps.google.com/maps?q=http://bbs.keyhole.com/ubb/download.php?Number=878026&t=k&om=1


Blauvelt State Park is a great venue. Ya gotta love a place with a mountain named after Boss Tweed!
William M. Tweed (April 3, 1823 – April 12, 1878), was an American politician who was convicted for stealing over 100 million dollars from New York City taxpayers
That guy puts Mayor Sharpe James to shame. $100,000,000! In 1873!! And he wasn’t even from New Jersey!!!

The chicken-eagle trail was split at a tunnel. This tunnel was the reason the hares stressed the need for appropriate lighting for an afternoon hash. It was purportedly made as part of a firearms range in the early part of last century.

The trail was alternatively rocky, which is typical for the region, but a welcome section was pine padded.

Rear End Wrangler was initially excited to find out what happens at the back of the pack. Apparently he wasn’t that jazzed about the DFL group since he hit the afterburners on his tricked-up cast and disappeared into the woods.

Arriving at the BC the pack was full of good spirits, not that kind, more like good mood. The trail led them through the tall pines and up up up to the top of the aforementioned Tweed Mountain. Along the way, the pack had expansive views of the Hudson River valley. The view from the BC included the Tappan Zee Bridge far below, and midtown Manhattan in the distance.




Does this look like a big head, or is it just me?





Here’s the hare’s resource guide to the park:
http://www.rocklandaudubon.org/blauvelt_sp.htm

Promises promises; with all those critters spotted by the late Ms. Spotter, we saw no Titmice, tufted or not.

Honey Buns said that this is a well known hangout for prostitution....when reccing trail she saw one such service call.


Honey Buns shows off her new, "dollar fan".




Circle
With all the planning and setting the hares neglected a vital component of the hash… more beer than anyone could possibly drink. They only brought an appropriate amount for normal people, thus not enough to have a “Proper Circle” as Big Bird would say. The pack was rounded up and sent packing down the hill to the On-On, Bailey’s Smokehouse. “A freakin’ family restaurant”

We all got our seating figured out by 6:00 and at 6:10 Dogmeat was calling the circle to order. It was a circle in name only. The actual geometric shape was more of a series of irregular polygons. As good as the venue could have been, when we were there, it was overrun by rug-rats who were dragged away from their Nintendos for the afternoon.
That said, the circle was a brief and G-rated affair.
Hares: Alibi and Honey Buns
FRB: Anal and his kilt, and Miscast without his kilt
First into the BC was the still-gimpy Wrangler. (Considering he walked the entire trail, that feat was as mysterious as it was unexplained)
First trail in a while: Clitty Litter.

Then some accusations were heard:
Keyhole was called for trying to see what was under Anal’s hash kilt. It’s a different matter to ask, “What’s under your kilt?” and to actually lift the kilt to see for yourself. The scribe chose to belabor that point because he is also in the “Society of Kilted Hashers”, and such kilt lifting is usually unwelcome.
Over achiever: Dog E Style for haring Rumson’s hash earlier in the day.
Pussy Killer: Little Sacs says he didn’t actually launch the ordinance that left his workplace and landed in a civilian’s house killing the family cat. He was held guilty by association.
Hash dedication: Clitty was called up to congratulate her for renting a car to get herself to the hash.
There may have been other accusations, but they weren’t heard. The din of the restaurant overwhelmed the auditory input of the scribe.

ON-ON
Bailey’s Smokehouse [Rockland County]
at Bailey’s Blauvelt Inn
136 Erie St. E., Blauvelt, NY
The food was plentiful and tasty. The beer was of excellent vintage. What more can we say?

How’s about some pictures of the food?
Check it out:
http://offthebroiler.wordpress.com/2006/06/05/ny-dining-preview-baileys-smokehouse/


On-Out


DogE Style
SHHH Scribe

DES/mmi

1139 YAAC does the little things

Y Ddraig Goch
(The red dragon)
Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus!
(Happy St. David’s Day)

Hash No. 1139
When: 03/01/08 3:00 PM
Where: Mountainside Park, Pompton Plains, NJ
Hare: YerAnAnalCyst (YAAC), Turd Taster
Weather: 45º, with clearing skies as the hash started.
Hashers: (15) Anal Lick It All, Breaststroke, Clitty Litter, Dog E Style, Dogmeat, Finger In, GeneYass, GI, Great Sex, Just Bruce, Just Matt, Papoose, Rat Bastard, Seoul Brudda, Twatever, and Whomp ‘em, Also, Anya and Quinn, And: Brady and Saliva.
Aaaah Spring is the in the air and the first hash of the Babes of March had arrived!
Spring may have been in the air but so was a snow squall, which greeted the early arrivers with blizzard-like conditions for several minutes.
Coincidentally, it was also St. David’s Day, honouring that Welsh dragon-slaying hunk of a guy... oh wait, no, that’s St. George (patron saint of England). Turns out, there’s no connection between old Dewi and the red dragon that adorns the Welsh flag (attached). For a full history see: http://www.stdavidsga-cymru.org/Dewisant.html
St. David’s best-known piece of advice is ”Gwnewch y pethau bychan” or “Do the little things” so take heart, there’s hope for all the hashers!
Despite his status as Patron Saint, He was recently elected the 47th most popular Welsh hero. [See Appendix A]
We can’t go to the beautiful rolling hills of Wales, so instead we’ll try those in Pompton Plains. There will be 2 chicken/eagle splits, beer check (don't worry, not going for worst beer award this year), and nice views if the weather cooperates. Also, if all the snow/ice melts, both eagles and chickens are likely to be going through some shiggy...so bring spare shoes/socks. Leeks and Daffodils are complimentary.
Trail
http://www.localhikes.com/Hikes/Mountain_side_5602.asp
With the fresh layer of snow to slip and slide on, the hashers took to the area.
The conditions were also perfect for packing into snowballs. There were at least two documented snowball assaults on unsuspecting hashers:
Dog E picked up a stick and made like a batter, GeneYass quickly made snowballs and promptly beaned the batter. All subsequent ‘pitches’ hit the batter. It wasn’t until the 5th or 6th time that Dog E figured out that she was intentionally hitting him!
The second was when FRB Matt hunkered down behind a rock pile and ambushed the followers with a barrage of tightly formed snowballs.
GeneY made and carried a pint-sized snowman on trail. She thoughtfully placed it on trail in a place she knew would encourage and those left behind.
Also noted was GI’s intimate knowledge of the area, which allowed the back of the pack to take an impromptu short cut along the natural gas line, back to the start.

Circle:
The circle was called to order by Rat Bastard at precisely 4:50.
First up the perfunctory down-downs:
Hare: Yer An Anal Cyst (YAAC), and her trust sidekick, Turd Taster. As TT was not in attendance, her down-down was deferred.
FRB: Finger In and new guy, Matt.
DFL: Dog E Style and Clitty Litter.
Accusations:
· Dogmeat called up GI. It seemed that GI took a special interest in GeneYass’s ‘new’ car. He picked the precise moment that GeneY was changing in her car to look inside at the interior.
· Dogmeat for Moussing his arm.
· Whomp ‘em’s new cowboy boots also drew considerable attention as well as a drink.
· Dog E for taking leave of the circle. He was seen sprinting away in hot pursuit of Saliva, who was approaching some indigenous wildlife. This may also account for the brevity of these proceedings.
· Breaststroke was called up as the BD boy. His big day was the next day.
· Twatever was called into the center for sporting a strange blanket-like cover.
As this was the third hash of the triple-header, the following hashers should be recognized. This may or may not have been acclaimed at the circle due to the scribe’s disappearance
Over-Under achiever: Dog E hared the hash the previous night, (2/29) then attended Col. Hogan’s birthday hash in the morning, and then this event. The under achieving part is that he was DFL at both of the day’s hashes.
Over-over achiever: Great Sex: Also attended all three, except she was front runners at all three.
Wannabe over achiever: GI, went to the Friday hash, and this one. He get’s honorable mention for attempting to get to the morning hash. He made it to the Parkway exit before being called off by his wife.
Ultimate underachiever: Rat Bastard admitted he stayed up drinking all night long. He even made a luge track in Dionne’s backyard. He was ‘sooooo’ hungover all hash day long.
He only attended the one hared by his better-half. He did get some credit for setting up a luge track in his backyard the night before
And just like that, the circle was concluded at 5:07PM. A short and sweet affair
In keeping with Saint David's Day tradition, the hare bought Daffodils for all harriets.
She also provided Leek soup for the chilled hashers. Leek soup is a kind of soup that is made out of salt, water and leeks. Because of its inexpensive cost it is often used in soup kitchens. It is often made with wild leeks. It is often considered to be a Welsh national dish
Interestingly, she did not serve Faggots. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_%28food%29

So we headed to Jiggs,
On-On:
Jiggs Corner Music Saloon
1248 Route 23 North, Butler
The entertainment consisted of a TV showing a forgettable 1998 remake of Mighty_Joe_Young, about a big ape going apeshit in LA.
Finger In sported his new 3-Tequila-Floor t-shirt.
Directions:
To Jiggs:. About 1 mile North of I-287 and a perfect hash bar. I promised the very pretty bartender that they guys would sing for their beer so get your voices ready to impress!
Something inspired Whomp ‘em to reminisce about last years Co-Motion by the Ocean. “The boat ride back & the vibrations of sitting at the back of the boat!!” she added, “I hope there’s a boat ride this year.”

On-Out:
Dog E Style
Scribe

Appendix A:
http://www.100welshheroes.com/en/top100